dictate

I didn't realize you were dictating the terms now.
Je ne savais pas que c'était toi qui dictait les termes à présent.
You were dictating a letter to me.
Tu m'as appelée pour me dicter une Iettre.
But I always hated it because they were dictating the terms of the interaction, in the same way that engaging in a serious argument determines the content, to some degree, of what you're talking about.
Mais j'ai toujours détesté ça parce qu'ils dictaient les termes de l'interaction. De la même manière que de se lancer dans une dispute grave détermine le contenu, dans une certaine mesure, de ce dont vous allez parler.
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